I told the brown-eyed girl to do something for me. What exactly, I can’t remember; it’s not important. I’d encountered moments of resistance on previous occasions: imploring looks, hesitancy, playing for time. But this was different.
‘No,’ she said.
Immediately I grabbed her by the hair and slapped her face. Then again.
‘Don’t use that word to me,’ I said. ‘Not ever.’
She looked hurt, not so much physically, but shocked by the forcefulness of my response.
‘I don’t allow that word,’ I said.
‘But I really did not want to do what you said.’
‘I know; that’s why I want you to do it. It’s a test.’
She looked doubtful; resentful, even. I could see I owed her a fuller explanation.
‘If I tell you to do something you don’t want to do, you have a number of possible responses. You can plead with me, beg me to change my mind. Or you can explain, calmly and rationally, why it would not be a good idea for you to do that thing. You can say that of course you will do it if I insist, but ask me to take into account your extreme unwillingness. Or you can take a deep breath and just do it. The one thing you never do is give me an outright refusal. You are a submissive girl. I am your dom. That means you have always already agreed to do as I say. You must trust me that I will never try to make you do something that is harmful to you, mentally or physically, or outside the boundaries of your capabilities. But if it’s something that I want, and I know you can do it, even if you don’t like it, then, after I have heard what you have to say, you will do it. Do you understand.’
She took her time digesting this. Then she nodded. ‘I understand,’ she said.
‘Then do what I said.’
She did it, without hesitation, though she didn’t pretend to enjoy it.
‘Good girl,’ I said and held her close.
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13 comments:
I love your stories where we never really "know" what it IS exactly that's being asked!
Fondly. Sky
Whew~
Somehow I don't think she'll ever say that again.
Powerful lesson~!
Hmmm, did she know prior to saying it that she wasn't supposed to say it? I'd say; ' obviously not', but I don't want to assume. Doesn't quite seem fair, to me - that is. Of course, I'm not submissive and the word "no" falls out of my mouth at every turn...
Nevermind. Carry on.
I love that after it was made clear what she was not to do, that it was then made it clear what the options were. Very perceptive to catch the resentment in her expression and realize that it could not be allowed to build. This response on her part is a sign of healthy self-preservation, "but I really didn't want to", and not be broken down but guided into more appropriate expression which allows the dom to continue on the intended path.
Not sure about this one tbh. As a submissive, I would ask, had she ever said 'no' before? If not, it's a rare response and means you hit some form of boundary. Your 'persuasion' ensured that she put your needs above her own as a sub will. You played on the feelings of guilt that she wasn't 'pleasing' you, so she denied her own feelings and ensured she made you happy. Those feelings haven't gone away They're still there somewhere and they will resurface. Maybe not with you, but on her own, dealing with it without support.
You had an opportunity to find out why there was a boundary and chose not to take it
Don't you think you may be making some unwarranted assumptions here? Such as that I don't talk to her, or that I don't understand about aftercare? It is important to establish the principle, that she is not allowed to say no. But that settled, we can talk all night about why she wanted to say no. And why in the end she said yes.
I feel I learn a little more about the D/s dynamic every time I visit you. It's not so much that I take your words as given - all relationships need to be established themselves - but they are always thought-provoking.
I've never said no. I'm not entirely sure that's something to be proud of. It's not because I'm uber-submissive,because i am not. Does it mean I'm such a dirty girl I'll do anything? I don't know if I like that image. Does it simply mean my husband as Dom has not pushed me enough to find my limits? I'm not sure if that's the way I want to see him. Hmmmm. Something to think about. Maybe I'll say no one day, just to see what happens.
Discerning Dom,
The word "no" is not tolerated in the relationship with my Master. Of course I may use it for everyday situations such as, "Did you clean the car" and if I had not then I can say "no". I am not permitted though to say no when he tells me to do something. I am encouraged to plead, beg, state my reasons for not wanting to do something and I may express myself for however long I feel necessary. With that said, at any given moment Master can and will say "enough". I know when he has used the word "enough" that all possible plea bargaining has come to an end and I have one of two choices to make: do as I am told or do not do as I am told and suffer the consequences.
Personally I find the exchange that you write about to be one of conditioning and explaining what is expected of a submissive.
~a
I guess where you lost me was at the part where I didn't know if she'd been told prior to saying 'No' that it was a word that you just won't tolerate as a response to a clear request. If she did then, yeah - her bad. You are the Dom, after all. You call the shots. But if she didn't know, and the way she learns is by getting slapped and advised after the fact. Yeah.
It would never occur to me that you, of any Dom, would not know what he was doing. Not ever. Even a sassy girl like me can figure that out.
Best regards.
I'm sub, and i do many things for my dom that I don't necissarily want to do. But if I have a hard limit, and say no, and he doesn't give me an option? If he doesn't discuss with me, in a trusting and safe way? That's not ok. BDSM is all fun and great as long as its safe and consensual. If I can't do something, and a guy tells me i don't have an option other than being beaten (in not a fun way) or doing it? That's rape.
Echosinfire: Do you mean to imply I don't know the difference between BDSM and rape? I'm a little upset if that is the case. I can only suppose you haven't read much of my blog.
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