Spanking and fucking

Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage, or so says the song. But what of spanking and fucking; are they equally inseparable? Well, clearly not; there are millions of folk round the world who are fucking away even as I write and who have never heard of recreational spanking, and would run a mile if they did.

But what about the other way round: can you spank someone and not fuck them? I know for a fact you can. I’ve done it. Because pace Bill Clinton, sex and fucking are not the same thing. Sometimes after you have spanked her there are other things you want to do which at the time seem preferable to fucking. No, I’m not going to elaborate; the girls who know me know what they are. I’m not saying fucking doesn’t happen, only that a lot of other things might intervene. But they are probably best regarded as substitutes for fucking; the furtherance of fucking by other means, perhaps.

I don’t know if you ever look at the blog of the Spanking Writers. (http://www.spankingwriters.com/blog/) It’s certainly worth a little of your time. Abel often describes scenarios in which there’s a lot of very erotic spanking, but rarely if ever any mention of fucking. Now of course it’s his business (and theirs) whether he fucks the girls he spanks. If he does and wishes to draw a veil over that part of proceedings, that’s fine. But I can’t help being nosey about what happens once the cane is laid down. Does she simply stand in the corner, silently weeping, until she’s dismissed? Is the spanking sufficient unto itself? Maybe we shall never know. Maybe it’s none of my business.

Anyway, let’s agree that spanking and fucking are not inseparable. But what about spanking and sex? Can you spank someone in a non-sexual way? Yes, clearly you can. At my boarding school it happened all the time (though there were possible erotic overtones to punishment in the headmaster’s study, even if not acknowledged at the time). But leaving aside the practice of corporal punishment inside institutions (schools, prisons, the family - all frequently, it has to be admitted, the subject of erotic fantasy, even if not much fun irl), can we conceive of spanking scenarios in which not only is there no fucking, but no physical contact of any kind except that of cane upon bottom?

I don’t find it difficult to imagine such a thing. But this embargo on any touching is likely only to enhance the eroticism of the scene. Knowing that she will not be touched, that there will be no relief afterwards for her pent-up desires, or for his, would surely only serve to stoke them up even more. There’s something rather delightfully perverse about it. I’d venture to say that for most d/s folk the pleasures of spanking are largely engendered in the mind. Yes, there’s the physical pain, and that can be extremely stimulating. But it’s the sense of power enjoyed or submitted to, the feeling of humiliation or helplessness on the part of the one who bends over, and the rush of adrenalin in the one who wields the cane, the heady sense of dominance, which connoisseurs most value. You could, if you had to, or you were enough of a deviant, do without the post-spanking meeting of bodies. But you couldn’t do without the fever in the brain. What would be the point of any of it without that?