A gentle hint

A long time ago, in my salad days when I was green in judgement, I met a girl. She was great, the sex was great, but I didn’t know then what I know now. This was in the days before the internet became the cornucopia of information and stimulation (and, yes, misinformation) that it is now. There were not too many ways to find out about kink, and although I was interested in a general, theoretical way, I had no experience of it.

She was a smart girl and she sensed my mix of interest and ignorance. One night beside the bed I saw a book. It was The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by A N Roquelaure. I started reading it. If you don’t know, it’s a tale of d/s, set in a sort of mediaeval never-never land, about a young girl who is carried off and subjected to various indignities by a succession of libidinous men. It’s not as hard-core as Story of O, but it’s artfully told and would interest anyone with a penchant for spanking.

I asked my friend if this was the sort of thing she liked. She was rather coy, or perhaps she wasn’t, perhaps it was me who was slow on the uptake. I remember asking whether she identified with the ones dishing it out or the one taking it. I think she thought that rather a silly question. Realising at last that I needed, in my naivety, to be led, she said to me, in the middle of the night, ‘Whip me.’

That’s where it all started. I suppose the point of this little story is that I had instincts towards dominance, but no understanding of them, and no confidence that should they manifest themselves they would be welcomed. I didn’t really imagine there were girls who actually wanted to be spanked, that I already had a licence to do it if I was so inclined. So I had to be introduced to things by a girl who understood me better than I understood myself. Needless to say, I’ve always been grateful to her for that.

And so, dear reader, if you have a man who you think might have a bit of the dom in him, you may be able to draw it out through putting some reading in his way. I know it’s difficult to sit him down and tell him face to face exactly what you want him to do to you. Not least because if it is presented as something that you want rather than something he wants for himself, it’s not going to work very well. The submissive girl wants to be taken, controlled, ‘forced’; she doesn’t want to be obliged. But if you leave something in his way, something that puts ideas in his head, he may want to spank you for himself.

I can’t guarantee this will work. As I have said many times, if he doesn’t have a drop of dominance in his head, you cannot put it there. But it just may be that the wellspring is waiting to be tapped.