Watching your girl being fucked all afternoon by another guy is quite an intense experience. Occasionally I would lend a hand, but mostly I just observed. A lot of thoughts and feelings went through my head. I’ve already spoken about some of them. I’ve got a few more, for what it’s worth.
Melissa has written on her blog Intelligent Submission about the need for honesty, openness and trust, and I’d certain echo that. You have to be honest with yourself, to begin with. You have to admit to why you are doing this, and let her know why. The worst thing is if either of you has some kind of agenda that’s not disclosed to the other. Like trying to get even for a previous slight, or seeking to gain an advantage, or hoping for a trade-off, as in ‘I’m letting you fuck him so I can fuck her’. That’s fine if you both know that’s the deal. But it has to be clear, not a covert ruse.
I wanted it because I got a perverse pleasure out of it. I’m not sure I can explain that, even to myself. I do think there was a kind of emotional masochism involved. It excited me that she wanted someone else. And the more she looked like she was enjoying it, the more excited I became. There was an element of danger, that I might lose control of her. And somehow that was perversely exciting. Like sky-diving, almost; when it’s over you get a thrill from the fact that you survived it.
I don’t actually think it was the same as the cuckold thing that some guys seem to be into, judging from the ads you see on craigslist. What they want is to be humiliated, to have their noses rubbed in their powerlessness as another guy fucks their girl right in front on their face and they can’t do a thing about it. I didn’t want that. I wanted to give her what she was getting, and I wanted him to have her, with my compliments. I actually got to know the guy and like him. It was sort of personal, in a way, between the three of us.
It also depended a lot on her being honest too. I had to know why she wanted this. I think it was mostly a sheer love of sexual adventure. And the kind of ego-boost a girl gets from knowing there’s not just one guy wanting her, but two. That must be a good feeling, to be doubly desired. He and I had discussed it a bit in advance. I think she rather liked the idea that two guys were getting their heads together about what they’d like to do with her.
But it also depended on she and I being honest afterwards. I needed to tell her that while I was excited, I was also feeling vulnerable. I needed to feel that she was going to reassure me, for her to make it very clear that however much she enjoyed it with him, that wasn’t going to change our relationship. I don’t mean I didn’t want her to develop stronger feelings for him. That was inevitable. She’s the kind of girl (the best kind of girl) for whom sex is very significant. She can’t just fuck someone and walk away. So I knew she was going to be somewhat involved. I just needed her to tell me about that, and I needed some reassurance. That nothing had changed between us. That I was still her special man, as she was still very special for me.
She needed to know from me in return that I didn’t think any the less of her for wanting another guy. And of course I didn’t feel that way at all; quite the contrary. I admired her nerve in going through with what was undoubtedly a risky business, one that put her in a vulnerable position. I, for my part, needed to know she didn’t lose respect for me because I would let her fuck other men. However secure you may think you are as a dom, that’s always at the back of your mind. A strong man keeps other men away from his woman, right? He doesn’t let them get near her. Well, I don’t believe that’s strength, necessarily. It can actually be weakness. How much stronger to let her have them, safe in the knowledge she’ll come back to you. Just so long as you really are safe. She’s got to let you know that you are. She can’t just assume you will know without being told. I suppose the proof is if she wants you to fuck her after he’s gone.
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6 comments:
Have just discovered Your writings, Sir - and am completely swept away with Your stories. I shall save these as a template with which to discern who shall be my future Dom... Your girl is a very very lucky girl indeed! (Not sure how to post here, but i can be contacted at LikH204choc @ FetLife) Cheers!
you are right about the ego boost, it's enormous. just knowing that 2 men, especially Doms, are focused soley on you, well, that's heady stuff. i have never felt so powerful, nor so powerless, as when i have been the lucky recipient of such attention. it's intoxicating and liberating and intense. and for me it only served to magnify the intimacy with my 'special man' afterwards. knowing that he was both capable of giving me such a gift, and also enjoying it so much himself was a phenomenal feeling.
It is always interesting to me to read a dom's perspective on this. They seem to either love it or are violently opposed to it. I wonder what makes the difference...
Very thought provoking, especially as I read it right after your first post on the topic. It is indeed very interesting to be able to see inside your head, though of course you can speak only for yourself and not for all doms.
I was caught up short at realizing that she was the one who wanted it, as opposed to you, as a dom, initiating a situation in which you shared her. naughtyinaustin spoke of her feelings of power. I should think that, in the case of your girl, there would have been a special feeling of power in telling the man who controls you that you want to fuck other men.
I don't doubt that your perversion gave you pleasure from watching. But I wonder (please don't take offense at my questions, sir) what you felt when she first mentioned what she wanted. Or when she first mentioned this other man even before it came to the point of saying she wanted to fuck him.
I also wonder (oh, I'm such a curious thing...) if the other man was of your generation or closer to hers. And if he was significantly younger than you, did that enter into any uneasiness you might have felt as to where her affections or even purely sexual attraction might go?
Thank you - and my apologies if I have offended.
Although I didn't ask and the circumstances were different, this has happened to me.
I would agree that it brought us closer rather than otherwise.
Not sure why it was such turn on for him so it is wonderful to read your perscpective.
Thanks~
I had this experience with two Doms this summer. Seeing the expression on my Dom's face what he watched me being fucked and looking into my eyes while I was being whipped was incredibly erotic. There was so much going on I was reduced to a feral fucktoy, an interesting learning experience for me. The threesome brought us closer. He was proud of me and my performance.
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